Sticks and Ants

I just saw an ad on TV for the University of Alaska. It said they had 16 campuses. Honestly, that’s the strangest thing I have heard all month.

I know this is really messed up, but I couldn’t help but laugh. I was playing poker online the other day, and the guy who I was playing against had the screen name “CacncerLOL.”

After UCLA’s football team beat USC, this girl I knew from high school put up a myspace bulletin with something like “Go Bruins” or some other hogshit touting UCLA. I immediately deleted her from my friends.

But, I admit, online social networks are sometimes actually really nice. When I was reeling from the tragic loss the other day, I felt immensely better after joining the group “Pat Cowan may have beaten us, but he will never beat acne,” complete with a close up shot of the downright ugly UCLA quarterback.

Rapper DMX, when trying to explain how a groupie “raped” him a few years ago, leading to the birth of a child: “Because when I sleep, my man be out.”

There is an Ethiopian food place down the street from my house, but I am kinda scared to try it. I mean, what the hell is Ethiopian food? Sticks and ants?