Sauceless pizza?

December 24, 2005

So I went to my Aunt and Uncle’s house for Thanksgiving and was a little surprised when I saw the message written on the dry erase board on the refrigerator. I realized later it was meant to be a reminder for my Aunt’s elderly father Richard to take his medication, but I really had to stifle a laugh when I initially saw the note, written in large blue letters: “DICK PILLS.”

From my civil procedure study aid: “In Hilton v. Guyot, 159 US 113 (1895), the Supreme Court declined to give credit to a French judgment, on the grounds that the French courts did not give credit to our judgments.” Apparently, our court system has been officially disrespecting the French for over a century.

It’s Saturday night, a mere week before finals, and there is not a single library on campus open past six p.m. You mean I pay USC eighteen thousand dollars a semester and they can’t pay someone $6.75 an hour to keep a damn library open for me?

"Was that one of the more satisfying dumps you've had?" -- Sideline reporter Suzy Shuster to Nebraska head coach Bill Callahan after he was doused with Gatorade.

I went bowling with my buddy Nate recently, and the guy is one helluva bowler. He actually bowled eight strikes in a row! Eight! I have now made it my goal to get Nate to drop out of school, quit his job, and focus on bowling. I really think he has a shot at the Pro Bowling Association.

So finals is supposed to be like all studying, all the time, which totally sucks. But really, when I have an entire day with no classes, and nothing to do but study, it is really, really difficult for me to get motivated. I set a new record today when I hit the snooze button 11 times. That’s right, I set my alarm for 8 AM and actually got out of bed at 9:39 AM. That’s kind of impressive, in a way.

Driving to Bakersfield for Thanksgiving I saw a remarkable site on the freeway. Apparently, a truck carrying toilet paper had been in an accident, because there were literally thousands of rolls of toilet paper all over the road. It was probably the coolest thing I had seen all week. I almost got off at the next exit so I could drive through it again. I really try to partake in life’s simple pleasures.

I bet students were a lot more productive before the invention of instant messenger, myspace, and the facebook.

Seriously, I don’t know how I would survive without my laptop or the internet. If I had to go to the library and study, and be completely cut off from the world… well I guess I wouldn’t be able to track the score of the Monday night football game, or talk to my buddy six feet away about how much studying sucks. That would be a rough world.

I think it’s time for me to face the facts. I have an addiction. I absolutely love playing spider solitaire. It’s a fantastic game, taking just enough thought to entertain me, but still leaving me room to listen to my torts lecture or talk on the phone. But the amount I play it is staggering at times. Almost sick. I discovered the game early in the semester, and after a month or so, I decided it had to go, and deleted it off my computer. After falling asleep in several classes, I broke down and downloaded the game again. The last few weeks of school, I played over 200 games, and won over 60 (most of the time while in class). To put this in perspective, try playing it sometime (it comes standard with Windows). It usually takes a good ten to fifteen minutes to beat a game playing two suits, and I have done it over 60 times. In related news, I get my grades back in a few weeks. After that, I’m guessing I will decide to cut back on my spider solitaire.

In the history of sandwiches, I don’t believe the sandwich my roommate Jon just made has ever been made before. He made a steak sandwich on a cinnamon raisin bagel, including cream cheese, peppers, and apple slices. I (jokingly) asked him if he wanted to put some pineapple on it, and he was like, “We have pineapple? Where?”

“My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana now, and I said no, but I want a regular banana later, so yeah.” -- the late, great comedian Mitch Headberg.

I just found a posting at the law school announcing the “Warren J. Ferguson Award for the best essay on social justice.” The award is a $300 cash prize. Hey, that doesn’t sound too bad. The suggested length of the essay? 25-50 pages. Um, yeah, I might just have to pass on that one. Even if I was guaranteed to win, I still don’t think I would spend my time getting paid $6 per page. Actually, I wonder if anyone is going to enter this contest.

You wanna know what’s a great feeling? Waking up on a Saturday morning and realizing an NFL game is on. What makes that feeling better? When one of your favorite teams is winning 21-0. The icing on the cake? You realize you placed a bet on that team at about 4 AM the previous night. Nice.

“Wells Fargo will contribute $5,000 to the 49ers Foundation to help underprivileged youth in the Bay Area for every 49er touchdown scored this season. (Pause) There’s going to be a lot of sad kids.” – Joe Starkey, 49ers radio broadcaster.

How pissed off do you think the Las Vegas Commerce Association was when the bowl committee voted to invite BYU to play in the Pioneer Provision Las Vegas Bowl against Cal on December 22nd? I just don’t think casinos and Mormons mix too well.

So I just ordered a pizza from some local pizza dive in my neighborhood. Midway through my first slice, I realized that there was no sauce on the pizza. What the hell kind of pizza doesn’t come with sauce? This made me really curious, did the pizza place forget the sauce, or do they make all their pizzas without sauce? And if they forgot it, should I call back and demand another, sauce-laden pizza? But if they purposely did not include sauce, what kind of pizza is that? It was basically cheese bread with pepperoni. Either way, I’m not ordering from Angelino’s Pizza again.